Blog Canada Feature

Stoner Dating Gone Wrong…

Re-posted from The Cannabis Life Network

Dating can be so awkward. Nothing like a new romance to increase the weight of that emotional baggage. Like most of the people I know, I deal with it by getting as baked as possible. However, this can backfire and when it does, the results can be catastrophic. If you choose to get stoned before a date, beware… Don’t end up like these people. 

All names have been withheld to protect the “highly” embarrassed…

Puff Puff Pass??? 

Back in the day, I went to a movie with this girl and we went to smoke a joint before it started. I was in high school so it was the dime bag days. We had the one joint and unless it was a random street score, that was all we were going to get. 

I light it up and pass it. Then, she passes it back. I go to inhale but I didn’t really grip the joint. I sucked the whole lit thing into my mouth and the cherry burned the shit out of the bottom lip. I coughed/spattered out the joint and it hit the pavement. Covered in spit, on the ground, it was obviously done. Plus, neither of us had a pipe anyways. She only got one toke and was so mad because we didn’t have anymore. I tried to make out with her during the movie but she said no because of the burn on my lip.  

Guy passing out on a date from a dab 

My ex and I had just broken up and I didn’t take long to start up a Tinder account. Wanting a guy that smokes weed, I made sure that my account said I was 420 friendly. I hit it off right away with this one guy who told me that he smokes a half-ounce every day. So, for our first date, I met him at a cannabis lounge. He seemed like a nice guy but maybe a little bit overconfident. I had a little surprised when I had to explain what a dab was to him.

So, I give him a small dab (I swear it was small!). He didn’t cough a lot but I could tell that it hit him hard. He couldn’t keep up with the conversation and kept staring off into space. When I went to the bathroom and came back, he had fallen asleep at the Dab Bar. They were waking him up to kick him out. I greened him out with one dab.

This never usually happens…

I went on a first date with a guy that acted like all he did was a smoke weed. Then we light up a joint, one toke and he starts coughing. I mean coughing! His whole face went bright red and his eyes popped out of his head, I swear. In between gasps, he started saying, “this never usually happens, this never usually happens.” I couldn’t get it out of my head. It set our date off on the wrong track and we never went out again, but he did call me. It became a thing with me and my friends. When one of us starts to cough, we say this never usually happens. Even my dad does it now.

Hot dabs and too many thoughts

I love dabs and I like em hot. I like to cough until I am gasping because it has got me super duper stoned. Usually, I get intense dab sweats. My friend set me up with a friend of hers because the guy liked hot dabs too. So we meet at a lounge and he’s not bad. He even brought me some dabs I had never tried called diamonds. Excited, because after all diamonds are a girl’s best friend, I heat up my rig and take a huge toke. I got the dab sweats instantly which I expected, but the weed hit me differently than I anticipated. It put me in a weird mood and to deal with that, I just kept smoking more. Bad move. 

I ended up getting a serious case of anxiety and  I was completely soaked in sweat. Then I started getting anxious about how much I was sweating and it got even worse. Within about 40 minutes, I faked a stomach ache, got out of there and puked from being so stoned and anxious. I tried to call him later but he never picked up. Too bad, I didn’t really want a second date, I just wanted to know what strain those diamonds were made of.

A little too medicinal…

This has the worst thing that ever happened to me with a guy and I can’t believe I’m about to tell you. I get stomach issues from time to time and cannabis is the most amazing medicine for me. One night, I did that badly but I kept having to go to the bathroom. To deal with my stomach, I ate a cannabis cookie. Like usual, it worked. An hour or two after, I got some dirty text messages from a guy I was sleeping with. Feeling better, ailments have forgotten, I rushed over to his house. We had in the heat of the moment and decided to do some anal. Bad idea. 

I should have thought about it and not taken the chance, but I got too excited. Everything felt completely normal. When he pulled out, I could only see shadows because he had the light behind him…but I knew. He looked like a dog in front, with a dipstick tail, like a dalmatian. Neither of us acknowledged what had just happened. He went into the bathroom for about 15 minutes and all I could hear was the Febreeze can. I was totally mortified. When it was finally my turn in the bathroom, we passed without touching in the hall. 

Julia Veintrop
From an early age, Julia displayed a passion for writing and languages, a fascination with journalism and an amazing memory. Her career focus had been gaining skills and experience in many different fields of counselling. Her ambition to have a career as medical general practitioner was interrupted when she became very ill from cervical cancer and the procedures necessary to remove it, beginning almost seven years of severe medical issues. Using the written word as an avenue of release and feeling the miraculous benefits of cannabis first-hand, she developed her skills throughout her illness and shifted her focus to cannabis from the patient perspective. Today, she devotes her life to a cause she truly enjoys, cannabis activism, so that no one need suffer unnecessarily due to lack of education or access.